College offers an environment where we start getting confidence, master the art of communication, and eventually, take a peek at socializing. In all between learning and enjoying, we make relationships. It’s so easy in college life. An eye contact, quick communication, and a few days like this, and you become bestie. And then… friendship converts into a relationship and tears and laughs become a part of life. But the crucial question is how long do college relationships last after graduation?
To continue a relationship, there are various factors involved. Let’s cover each one step by step.
Who is the captain?
The first one is your ambition. Where do you want to see yourself after five or ten years? And does your partner fit in this plan? If you’re too focused on career building and your partner is also putting career upfront, you’re in trouble. Let’s face the harsh reality. Two individuals obsessed with their own careers can’t develop long-lasting relationships after college or graduation. This might seem sweeping statement to you, but this is something that’s how relations work.
When you or your partner put career upfront, he/she needs support, motivation, and push from your side. It’s not like telling how your day went, instead, listen to how your partner’s day has gone. And if your partner accomplishes something today, it’s a collective achievement. And if your partner sucks at something today, it’s a common failure that you support him/her to pull it off together.
Does that mean one has to be dependent on the other to keep the relationship alive? Not exactly. Put it in this way. In turbulence, or while facing a critical situation, the captain makes the decision, and the first officer helps him out to make the right decision. They both are dependent on one another to get out of the worst condition and change it into the best. But decision-making and responsibility are on the captain. Nothing is different in the relationship. One has to give a call, and the other needs to support him/her to point in the right direction. So, figure out would you be the first officer or captain in your relation. And you both are agreed on your assigned positions. Only then college relationships will last forever.
What drives your relationship?
In your late teens or early 20s, what do you and your partner call love? The answer to this question will decide does your college relationship last after graduation or not.
Rachel Greenwald, an author and dating coach, thinks it’s because most college “relationships” now occur within the context of a brief sexual encounter, or “hookup,” as the youth say. “Romance,” she said, “has gone the way of cursive handwriting.”
Here you need to understand the difference between romance and sexual encounters. If sexual desire is the only way that you find another person in your relation attractive, there is most likely the chance your relationship will not work as you’re intending. Does that mean sexual desire has no significance? Nope.
To make college relationships work, romance is essential along with sexual desire. Because, sooner or later, sexual attractiveness will lose its full charm. However, romance is what takes you on a long, successful journey. So figure out what exactly drives your college relationship, romance or desire. if it was a fling, then be sure it will crumble.
How about core values?
They say, ‘let’s agree to disagree. But this doesn’t work on your core values in the relationship. For instance, you don’t want your partner to drink wine at all. Or engage in gambling. It’s against your core values. But for your partner, this is alright.
This way, there is a clash of values that ultimately impacts love and career. The problem in college life is that you think “I’ll change him/her”. Remember, changing the thoughts of another person is easy, but changing core values isn’t going to be the cup of tea. That’s where most college relationships fail. Point out values and beliefs, and have a clear understanding beforehand.
How about feelings and emotions?
This is a vital aspect to answer do college relationships last after graduation or not. If your partner (boyfriend or girlfriend) has childish behavior at the end of senior year, you’re in bad luck. If she/he says that he/she’ll do the vein cutting upon disagreement, commit suicide if something goes against the will, he/she is emotionally unfit for the relation. Take a moment and stop boasting about that she or he loves you much that he or she’s ready to suicide for you. My friend, it’s not going to like this.
This threat means he/she is going to do anything to compel you to do as he or she wants. When this happens, the logic goes out of life, and emotions take over the control. And when decisions are purely made on emotions, there will be chaos. You’ll be compelled to do as per the wish of another person in the relationship, regardless of you know the demanded thing is wrong. in short, you’ll cry over this if you’re bosting that your partner is ready to sacrifice her or his life if you don’t do specific thing according to the demand made by him/her.
Match the expectations
While looking for the answer do college relationships last after graduation, many students miscalculate what are the expectations associated with them. For instance, you put the top position (manager in a specific multinational organization) on top of your success list, whereas your partner measures success concerning how much money will you make, there’s a mismatch. For you, the position is important. Your partner prefers money over the position. This clash of expectations will kill the charm of the relationship and all sorts of arguments will block your way. Neither you’ll focus on your professional life nor you live your homelife peacefully. So, let’s be clear what are the expectations from one another.
The bottom line
No doubt college is a beautiful place to interact, learn, socialize, and set the direction of your life, but decisions made here will significantly impact your coming life. Don’t go all over with the emotions, and don’t let your logical thinking kills the emotions. Strike the right balance and determine whether your college relationship lasts after graduation or not. Simultaneously, get ready for positive and negative answers and don’t go crazy about every little thing. Analyze, but don’t overanalyze. Make the decision with a fine mix of emotions and logic, stick to it, and have faith. Things will work in your favor.