Finding out the other one had an affair hurts. It hurts a lot. The crisis that follows infidelity is an ordeal with an uncertain outcome for the couple, as it weakens confidence. But it always acts as a revealer.
- Should I divorce my unfaithful husband?
- Is a breakup a solution if my wife is cheating on me?
- Should I forgive or separate from my wife or husband for their infidelity?
- Or can marriage be saved after infidelity?
- When should I leave after infidelity?
- Can you divorce an unfaithful spouse if you still love him or her?
- Can my marriage be saved?
These are just a few of the hundreds of questions you might ask yourself when you find out that your partner is unfaithful.
Infidelity is probably the worst betrayal you can experience in a relationship. And the longer the betrayal lasted, the greater the shock, especially if the relationship was going relatively well.
Once the shock that inevitably follows the discovery is over, you may be swept away by a huge avalanche of conflicting feelings ranging from anger, sadness, loss of self-esteem, fear of being alone, jealousy, desire for revenge, bitterness, and hope for a better relationship or anxiety after infidelity. It is a troubling, unsettling time when decisions should not be made on the fly.
The chances of divorce after infidelity are high, so you can consciously make an extra effort to deal with the infidelity.
It is essential not to ignore certain signs that show that your relationship is coming to an end, otherwise the situation could get out of control. Here are the signs that will help you know when to walk away after infidelity.
5 Signs for knowing when to walk away after infidelity
1. Ignorant Partner
It is a very bad sign if your partner is unable to give the clear reason of the infidelity. It is usually a way of evoking guilt and cheating on the partner. People begin to think that there was probably a misunderstanding or that they contributed in some way to the problem.
2. The partner is always in contact with his lover…
For many people, it is a little bit difficult to find out whether their guilty spouse has stopped all contact with their secret lover. And it can be very problematic, especially if they share the same social environment (they work for the same boss, they share the same school), keeping contact will only make your relationship worse. It is another way of saying, it would not be easy to restore trust in your partner in this particular situation. And divorce for adultery becomes more inevitable. You can deal with this by making sure your partner make some decisions like not contacting their former lover. Avoiding this type of situation is essential if you don’t want infidelity to be fatal to your relationship. It is also good to make sure your spouse’s former secret lover is also not trying to contact him or her.
3. Separate personality actions
It’s very important in a relationship to know your partner, because it will be very helpful in a situation like cheating. Why? Because after the infidelity, you may be wondering when you should give up, and it would be helpful would help if you could make the difference between your partner’s actions and his personality. This will help you avoid taking some actions like saying some unpleasant stuff (insulting, I hate you for being such a jerk) to make things worse. On the contrary, if you say that you still love them, but hate their actions, it might be helpful for the couple to sit down and talk.
4. Meeting each other’s needs
Satisfying ones’ needs is totally natural, but it should not go beyond your spouse’s limits. Unsatisfied needs, like sexual needs, are often the reason people seek divorce after infidelity, as many cannot cope emotionally. Unless your spouse is a serial cheater, there is a problem caused by unmet needs.
What if your partner is boring or terrible in bed? What if they lose attractiveness because of age, weight, or after giving birth? Your couple needs to deal with your unmet desires if you want your relationship to remain healthy. Otherwise, your partner will constantly seek to satisfy his or her desires elsewhere.
You may even certainly be hurt by the ugly truth if you don’t face it head-on. But facing some truth will help you avoid such problems in the future with your spouse or with a new partner for a better understanding.
5. Passive-aggressive behavior
Are there any other warning signs in your partner’s behavior other than cheating? Insults and mockery, disrespect for your value system, sarcasm? You should be very careful so you won’t miss the warning signs if your partner reveals passive-aggressive behavior. Marriage experts, these types of behaviors lead to major long-term conflict, making the couple reconciliation more difficult. So pay attention to your partner’s actions and make sure they are trustworthy.
To be or not to be unfaithful. This no longer seems to be the question today. Infidelity, many couples have encountered it. Yet it’s never a trivial experience. Almost always an upheaval. Because it shakes the foundation on which couples build: trust. Pay attention to the signs above before you decide to put an end to your relationship.